sexual abuse by clergy members

The following post was written and spoken by a fellow survivor. Her name is Lori Anne Thompson and we are honored that she shared her post so we could share it with you.

I wrote a few years ago that High Church days like Christmas and Easter can be especially difficult for those who’ve been violated by a member of the clergy. While I tried to verbalize my thoughts and feelings that particular Easter, Lori Anne does so with more insight, and lays bare the pain of this Friday.

We know, and He knows, and I pray after reading this You will know too…

—–

Dear Abuse Survivor/Supporter,

I have prepared this spoken word as a special gift for you. In it may you recognize the ruin in Friday and await the Son Rise on Sunday.

Peace, LA

Survivors know just about all there is to know about that Friday.
They know even if they know Him not.

They know about the lies lashed around their wrists and feet.
They know.

They know what it is to be bound and betrayed by a beloved.
They know what kisses were for.
They know.

They know about the salacious set up,
The friends who ran away,
The dark night when they prayed,
And absolutely nothing changed.
They know.

They know the cowardly cower of those who peddle in popularity,
They know the brief plead with the angry mob,
They know the freshly washed hands that claimed immunity.
God help me, they know.

They know what it means to be handed over,
To be stripped;
To be assaulted;
To be beaten,
To be broken;
To have to carry a crushing weight in their weakened estate;
They heard their own knees buckle.
Damn right they know.

They know what it is to be innocent;
To have entrusted their vulnerability to another;
To be laughed at;
To be mocked.
It rings in their ears still.
They KNOW.

They know what it means to have their reputation,
Their sanity,
Their station,
Their family,
Their friends,
Their integrity…
Stripped, ripped, ruined, robbed, and hung in half naked rags in public humiliation.
This, they know too well.

They know what is feels like to be forsaken,
To have all affirmation turn away.
To be utterly destroyed and alone.
I hang my head and I weep from somewhere deep.
Don’t you know, they know?

They know what it is to descend to the depths of darkness and death,
To watch as parts of themselves are crucified.
Oh yes… curious onlooker, religious scholar, high priest, and peddler…
They know.

Please visit Lori Anne’s site to read more:

https://loriannethompson.com/2019/04/18/they-know/

For many of us raised in a religious setting, but also endured childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a minister, this time of year can be a conflict of emotions. For me, there was a time when I abandoned the organization I felt had abandoned me and my fellow survivors. Except for weddings or a funerals, I wouldn’t darken the doors of any church. I would go so far as to say, for a time, I held God responsible for what happened to me and had genuine feelings of hatred toward The Church and God.

It wasn’t until I spent many years working with a therapist and in a group therapy setting, that I realized what happened to me wasn’t God’s fault. However, The Church’s failure to take action, support those who’d had been harmed and take steps to prevent these predators from hurting other children, still causes great pain and still has no excuse.

That said, I read something today that I think applies to Easter and survivors.

“I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all” ~ Leo C. Rosten.

For those who subscribe to Christianity, Jesus stood for something and made a difference in lives. Applying that to survivors of abuse, we too can make a choice, take a stand, make a difference in the lives of our fellow survivors and help prevent this from happening to future generations of children.

For those that know me, and have been keeping up with all that Together We Heal is doing, you know we most definitely have passion, compassion, are taking responsibility and doing all we can to take actions for this cause.

So as we go forward today, in acknowledging the resurrection of Jesus, let’s apply this most critical of moments in His life to our own lives. We can resurrect our destroyed lives. We can restore what was taken. We can have our lives count for something. We can because we have survived a death of our own.

I’m not saying this because I believe all survivors should feel exactly like I do. And I certainly understand if you have reservations about anything having to do with any religious organization. I write this to give you words of encouragement, to let you know that if I can make it through to this point in my recovery, I know others can too. But I don’t believe it should be forced onto anyone, by anyone. This is on your terms and in your own time.

With this perspective, I hope we all can look at today as a day where we are no longer shackled by the weight of guilt, shame and self-blame. We can experience a rebirth and resurrection for ourselves. We can because together…we can truly heal.

Together We Heal

Together We Heal is for any who suffer from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. We provide a safe forum for survivors of abuse to share, learn and heal. We work to expose sexual predators and their methods of getting into our lives.

Tag Archives: sexual abuse by clergy members

They Know

Easter – A Conflict of Emotions

Share this:

Share this: