Together We Heal

Together We Heal is for any who suffer from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. We provide a safe forum for survivors of abuse to share, learn and heal. We work to expose sexual predators and their methods of getting into our lives.

Sexual Predators Hiding In Plain Sight

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When I first came forward about being sexually abused by a youth minister at Rehoboth Baptist Church, the church where I grew up, I wrote an article called, “Pedophiles Are Like Serial Killers“.

I titled it that because of what an investigator at the GBI (Georgia Bureau of Investigation) told me. She said, “David, I believe pedophiles are like serial killers that leave their victims alive.”

I believed it that day and I do more so with each survivor I meet and with every story I hear.

Georgia Representative, Jason Spencer, has sponsored House Bill 17. It’s called “The Hidden Predator Act” and he said this of it in a recent post:

“Child sexual abuse is a secret crime that murders a child’s soul, and child sexual predators will always live among us. One in four girls will become victims, while one in six boys will suffer the same fate. Child sexual predators are often individuals who are close to the child victim, whereby those close relationships make a predator’s identity difficult to expose in the communities where they live.

Predators could be a close family friend, a pastor, a priest, a coach, a teacher, a doctor or even a parent. Many times, the child who is victimized never reports the crime for fear of not being believed by adults. Other times, child victims are so young that they are unaware of what acts are being done to them and lack the verbal capacity to describe the act, leading many victims to act out harshly or engage in other destructive behaviors as they age.

Typically, it is not until well into adulthood that the survivor of the ordeal has the ability to confront their perpetrators. However, in the state of Georgia, by the time survivors of child sexual abuse are ready to seek justice, they are locked out of the court rooms because of our law’s short civil statute of limitations (SOL).”

What Rep. Spencer described is EXACTLY what happened to me and it continues to happen to countless other victims of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). It took me 26 years to admit the shame, guilt and self-blame I felt about what Frankie Wiley did to me, and I have since learned, there are many others he abused, molested and raped. In 2006, I went to the DeKalb County Police Department to file a report and have charges brought against Frankie. I spent an hour pouring out my soul and crying like a child, to which the detective said…

…”Sorry, it’s too late. You waited too long.”

I waited too long?

What on earth does that mean? How does that make sense? How can a child be held to some legal standards for the crimes of an adult who commits atrocities against them. I felt as if I were being raped all over again.

But it’s a tragic fact in Georgia and MOST EVERY STATE in the USA. They are called Statute of Limitation Laws and instead of protecting the victims, in cases of child sex crimes, they serve only to protect predators.

So right now, in a rare moment in time, YOU have the ability to MAKE HISTORY. And not just in Georgia. If you help this bill get passed into law, it will pave the way for all of the other states to do the same thing, to finally bring justice for victims of the most heinous crime that can be committed against a child.

For those of you who might be reading this blog for the first time I want to assure you of something that regular readers already know – I do NOT deal in hyperbole, so please hear me when I say this cannot be overstated – this bill could be the MOST IMPORTANT BILL EVER in the lives of EVERY Georgian 53 or younger who has suffered from the trauma’s associated with Childhood Sexual Abuse or has a loved one who has.

Rep. Spencer went on to say, “Both criminal prosecution and civil actions are significant ways which validate the survivor and expose the truth to the public. With the recent 2012 criminal justice reform proposals removing the criminal SOL on child sexual abuse cases, coupled with the civil reforms in the Georgia “Hidden Predator Act,” child sexual predators will have a difficult time hiding in Georgia.

As a result, the priority will be to extend real justice to victims instead of enabling monsters to continue to prey on societies most vulnerable. Georgia’s children and families need and deserve the Hidden Predator Act. This reform is a stern warning to child sexual predators: don’t tread on Georgia’s children.”

For more than 30 years Frankie has been allowed to go from church to church, city to city, unencumbered by anything that would prevent him from molesting and raping more little boys. All because of an archaic law championed only by those who seek to hide the monsters in their midst for fear of litigation like the Roman Catholic Church is currently undergoing for protecting pedophiles for decades, even centuries.

Please become OUR champion. Become OUR hero and help us catch those who have killed our childhood, our souls and in too many cases, our lives.

Please help bring these monsters to justice and send a message to predators everywhere by getting the “Hidden Predator Act” passed. Send the message that we will NOT allow them to hide behind outdated laws. Let them know they WILL pay for their crimes.

If you are a resident of Georgia or you know someone who is, go here to find their or your Representative.

http://www.house.ga.gov/Representatives/en-US/HouseMembersList.aspx

By simply taking a few minutes to click on a link and send an email or make a call, you CAN make a difference. Not only in our lives, but untold numbers of those who will be protected in the future by your actions today.

Help us to stop the enabling of monsters who continue to prey on societies most vulnerable. As Rep. Spencer said, “Georgia’s children and families need and deserve the Hidden Predator Act.”

The following article was written by Rachel Stockman and posted on the WSB-TV website.

“More than a dozen victims came out in support of a new Georgia bill which would extend the statute of limitations in civil court for child sexual abuse victims to 35 years.

This would allow victims to file claims against their attackers until they are 53 years old. Current law bars claims that are filed after a victim is 23 years old.

“We are here under this dome- seeking justice in House Bill 17 to extend the statute of limitations on civil statute so the courtroom doors can be open for the survivors of child sexual abuse,” said Angela Williams, a rape victim, and founder of Voice Today, an advocacy group. Williams says it often takes years — even decades, for victims to come forward.

The “Hidden Predator Act” would also open more investigative records, and would add a two-year window for revival of claims for victims.
“These folks are locked out of the courts and justice is absolutely denied,” said Rep. Jason Spencer (R – Woodbine). Spencer is sponsoring HB 17.

“Georgia is one of the five worst states in country: if you are over the age of 23 you are out of luck,” said Marci Hamilton, a professor of the Benjamin Cardozo School of Law in New York City.”

Please, PLEASE, PLEASE, do something most of us never do…Call or Email your local representative and let them know they MUST VOTE YES for House Bill 17. And if necessary, let them know in the language only a few understand, tell them if they don’t vote yes, you’ll elect someone who will.

Think of it this way, if your child, or the child of someone who is close to you were the victim of murder and that child’s perpetrator were allowed to walk free for 20-30 years, then one day the government said to you, “If you want, we can finally bring your child’s murderer to justice.”

What would you do?

This is where we are at. You have the ability to make history and save lives. Please don’t turn a blind eye today, not now when we are so close. Do you want to protect children or continue allowing pedophiles to get away with murder? The future is in our hands.

***UPDATE***

Below are the names of the state representatives who have this bill in their Committee. Please call them and request that they MOVE IT OUT OF COMMITTEE and BRING IT TO THE FLOOR FOR A VOTE OF YES IN ITS ORIGINAL LANGUAGE.

Wendell Willard
R – Sandy Springs
District 51

Barry Fleming
R – Harlem
District 121

Stephen Allison
R – Blairsville
District 8

Beth Beskin
R – Atlanta
District 54

Roger Bruce
D – Atlanta
District 61

Johnnie Caldwell, Jr.
R – Thomaston
District 131

Stacey Evans
D – Smyrna
District 42

Mike Jacobs
R – Brookhaven
District 80

LaDawn Jones
D – Atlanta
District 62

Trey Kelley
R – Cedartown
District 16

Ronnie Mabra
D – Fayetteville
District 63

Larry O`Neal
R – Bonaire
District 146

Mary Margaret Oliver
D – Decatur
District 82

Jay Powell
R – Camilla
District 171

Dale Rutledge
R – McDonough
District 109

Pam Stephenson
D – Decatur
District 90

Andrew J. Welch
R – McDonough
District 110

Tom Weldon
R – Ringgold
District 3

Rich Golick
R – Smyrna
District 40

Joe Wilkinson
R – Atlanta
District 52

Original location of Rachel Stockman’s article:

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/new-bill-being-pushed-victims-child-sex-abuse/nj3dD/#__federated=1

Original location of Rep. Spencer’s article:

http://gapundit.com/2014/12/03/rep-jason-spencer-dont-tread-georgias-children-house-bill-17-georgia-hidden-predator-act/

Copyright © 2015 Together We Heal, Inc.

Author: Together We Heal

In 2006 David took the first step in a long and painful journey back from the abyss of addiction and self-destruction. He promised his dying father that he would get clean. And he did. But as he cleaned his body and soul, he began to confront the sexual abuse that his addiction had for so long obscured — abuse perpetrated by a church youth minister when David was 12 to 15 years old. Those three years of abuse destroyed the foundation of love and faith that had been built by his family. For 25 years, David kept the abuse secret and lost himself in a fog of drugs and alcohol. He was by turns destitute, at times incarcerated. The promise to his dying father was the catalyst. And the bedrock of his mother’s love and devotion was the foundation on which David rebuilt his life. Therapy, 12-step meetings, and soul-deep determination were the bricks and mortar. David founded Together We Heal to provide fellow survivors and their families, guidance through the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. In 2015 he was asked to become a part of the Child Safeguarding Initiative team with GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) to empower the Christian community through education and training to recognize, prevent, and respond to child abuse. David represents Together We Heal & GRACE across the country as a public speaker and instructor; teaching churches, schools, and families how to talk with their kids about sexual abuse, how to better identify predatory behavior, and how to properly respond to those harmed. "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.” - Dr. Seuss

12 thoughts on “Sexual Predators Hiding In Plain Sight

  1. Excellent presentation!

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  2. Bravo…I want to help this come to pass Nation wide, The recidivism is generational and it is our silence that insures it’s continuance. Removing the statue of limitation is a huge step
    I write allot on Facebook about my abuse and my path to healing

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  3. “The Little Girl Inside” I was sexually, mentally, emotionally and verbally abused by my grandfather as far back as I can remember. He did many terrible things, some of which are too distasteful for me to talk about publicly. I want to share my testimony, because so many people have been hurt, and they need to realize that someone has made it through their struggles so they can have hope. More than anything, I want you to know and really understand that anyone who has been abused can fully recover if they will give their life completely to the Lord…It may seem impossible, but God’s truth has set me free from a life of pretense and lies and has restored my soul. I am living proof that nothing is too hard for God. No matter what you’ve been through or how bad you’ve been hurt, there is hope! When people especially children, as I was at the age of five, their minds, wills and emotions may be tremendously damaged. They may become negative, suspicious, critical, judgmental, worried and unsettled. They may also become what I call mentally deep, always reasoning, always trying to figure everything out, always asking why me? I put my trust in him after all he was my Grandfather. If I couldn’t put my trust in him, who could I put my trust in? How can I take care of myself? How can I keep life under control so I don’t get hurt anymore? The problem with such a deep thinker is that he or she never gets to enjoy life. In almost every case, an abuse victim like myself, will be deeply rooted in shame and will develop a shame-based nature. Because of my Grandfather, I felt shame and rejection during the next five decades. I then built this wall around me; and I would never let anyone in. Who would ever want me? In my mind I was damaged goods. I do have a shame-based nature and I am also rooted and grounded in shame? I believe the curse and power of shame can be broken off from me through the power of God. I know from Isaiah 54:4 that the Lord has promised to remove the shame and dishonor from me so that I remember it no more. In fact, God has promised that in my place He will pour out upon as a twofold blessing. I will possess double what I have lost, and I will have everlasting joy.

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  4. Their should be no ststue of limitations on RAPE CHILD MOLESTIG

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  5. excellent work and advocacy, Dave.

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  6. You have my support! I will be sending an e-mail to my representative! I am so glad Georgia finally has a Governer and some Representatives like Jason Spencer who care about our children, and who care about the people who have been victimized by these monsters!

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    • I couldn’t agree more. Although this bill fell ENTIRELY TOO SHORT of giving victims and survivors of childhood sexual abuse a TRUE measure of justice, something is better than what GA had, which was nothing…thank you for the support and kind words.

      David

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  7. What was done in GA was huge for a GOP state in the south. It moved GA from one of the worst states in the country to squarely in the middle. I think sometimes as advocates, we can focus on what “should happen,” as opposed to what could happen. The legal reform aspect of CSA has nothing to do with legislators doing what they “should,” to protect children from the pandemic of CSA. If it did, it would have been done already. It’s clear, unless there’s federally incentivized change, any progress in SOL reform will transpire because a few assembled the right team to force legislation through. That is what happened in GA. The original pipe dream Bill had so much cushion and bargaining concessions, with the prayer of ending up with anything better than what was in place. My take-away was that it had very little to do with the issue of CSA, more of a behind the scenes battle in the war against the known players. We played the game better. They sure as Hell weren’t prepared for Marci Hamilton, the unwavering perseverance of Jason Spencer, and the advocacy strength (predominantly the capacity to strong-arm key players.) That said, the Bill was nearly killed several times, twice because of survivors. I will also say, I was completely unprepared for the parallel of the process and the abuse I suffered. Stepping up to the plate to be brushed off, silenced, and ignored was dangerously reminiscent of what transpired years ago with me. Anyone thinking of taking on such an initiative should be ready for the reality and perverse culture of politics.

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