Today I was making my “rounds”. No I’m not a physician, I don’t even play one on T.V. But I was reading through the regular authors, bloggers, fellow survivors and colleagues with whom I follow their writings. As I was reading Joelle Casteix’s latest piece entitled, “It All Started with a Support Group”, her words made me realize something I’d not considered prior;
If it weren’t for SNAP (Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests), our organization, “Together We Heal”, would not exist.
I know the genesis of most non-profits comes from a place of loss, grief, illness, tragedy or any number of other reasons we choose to take up a cause. And they are almost always good and noble reasons that provide for a need or service that others desperately require but have no access.
That being said, Joelle made me realize the reason(s) behind the formation of organizations like SNAP, The Joyful Heart Foundation and Together We Heal, that often go unspoken or taken for granted.
So as I turned my thoughts inward and asked myself, “why did we start Together We Heal”? I realized it was for the same reason as she titled her article…
…it all started with a support group.
Flash back 3 years. I had come forward about the sexual abuse I had endured as a child, and after 3 years of counseling I was looking for a support group. As I scoured the internet and government agencies looking for something, anything to further assist me in my recovery, It seemed as though I wouldn’t find anyone who could help. It was truly like looking for a drop of water in a desert.
Then, as I was about to give up, I came across a post referencing a group called SNAP. At first I thought I was mistaken, because the only SNAP I had ever heard of had to do with food stamps, or something like that. But when I found their office number and contact email, I got through, spoke to a volunteer and realized, they were exactly what I was looking for and needed.
At first I didn’t think I would be accepted because they specified “priest” in their organization’s name. And since my abuser was a Protestant, I thought here we go again, another false alarm. Boy was I wrong. Not only were they accepting of me, and all other victims of CSA, no matter the circumstance or religion, they eventually showed me I could both receive help from and become a help for my fellow survivors.
All of this was great for my own personal recovery. I was getting the help I needed from fellow survivors who understood what I’d been though. And my one-on-one counseling was still a tremendous help. But during several of our group sessions at our local SNAP meeting, I kept hearing others say, “boy I wish I had a therapist like yours Dave”, or, “if only I had insurance I could get some counseling too.” This was painful to hear. I almost felt guilty for having the privilege of personalized counseling. You see, what the others didn’t know, was that my therapy had been donated by an amazingly generous person. Someone who knew I had a need and they were willing to give of their time to help me since I didn’t have the funds or insurance to cover their standard $100/hour rate.
This got me to thinking, why can’t I recruit some therapists to do what mine is doing, donate their time to survivors in need? And the answer was simple, I CAN. And I did, and we still do! We currently have about 30 counselors/therapists who work directly with TWH, another 30-40 who work for government agencies we’ve partnered with and they too give of their time.
So why have I given you a history lesson about Together We Heal? It’s quite simple, and also profound. You just never know when one thing will lead to another. If you’re finding it difficult to get the help you need, don’t give up. I promise help is just around the corner. If you feel like you’re all alone, keep searching. I guarantee there are many out there just like you and will stand with you. And if it appears to you that there’s no purpose to your life, take another look. I too, once thought all of those things and had all of those feelings but because I refused to give up, I not only found the help needed, but now I’m able to help others who’ve been through what I went through and my life has a purpose I never knew possible.
Something Joelle mentioned in her article that I want to bring to your attention. She said, “People are talking and walking into our cycle of healing whether that be in our meetings or the meetings of other wonderful organizations. The Catholic Church and other institutions did not start or continue the cycle of healing. Victims did. Without support groups, none of this would have been possible.”
And just like it happened for her, it happened for me, and guess what?
This can happen for you too.
Copyright © 2014 Together We Heal, Inc.