Together We Heal

Together We Heal is for any who suffer from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. We provide a safe forum for survivors of abuse to share, learn and heal. We work to expose sexual predators and their methods of getting into our lives.

Getting Away With Murder

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When I originally came forward about my childhood minister, Frankie Wiley, sexually abusing, molesting and raping me, I titled the article “Pedophiles Are Like Serial Killers.” http://together-we-heal.org/2012/10/01/pedophiles-are-like-serial-killers-my-story-by-david-pittman/

I did this because what they do is like murdering the soul of a child. Over the last 8 years I have grown increasingly frustrated with the lack of action being taken by lawmakers to protect children from sexual predators like Frankie Wiley.

For far too long pedophiles/sexual predators have been getting away with the murder of the innocence of childhood. What has enabled this, is the inability of a child to speak out against their abusers in the “time allotted” by outdated laws that exist in almost every state in the Union. In most cases, a victim of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) has only a few years to come forward and these pedophiles/sexual predators/monsters know and count on the fact that most children are either too scared or think no one will believe them. By the time they are able to say something, if they ever get to that point, it’s too late legally to prosecute them.

It is beyond the pale that we have sat back and done nothing to protect those that cannot defend themselves. There are just a handful of states with the courage to do just that. It’s called “window legislation” and it allows an additional measure of time to bring justice to those that deserve and for those that are in need. Window Legislation has to become a MUST for ALL STATES if we ever hope to give victims a chance at the justice they deserve. Even more needed is the total elimination of the statute of limitation laws regarding CSA.

As it stands now, most states only give about 5 years either from the time of the incident(s) or from the time the victim turns 18. So at “best case” they have until they are 23 to come forward, or less if it happened younger. Most children do not have the ability to even realize the harm that has befallen them, much less say something about it. Sexual predators know this and it’s why the average offender, if not caught, has approximately 117 victims over the course of their life. (National Crime Statistics).

Together We Heal (TWH) has partnered with Marci A. Hamilton, who is leading the charge to eliminate statute of limitation laws regarding CSA. I would ask of all of you that you do the same. Go to her site: http://sol-reform.com/News/home/ and find out what the law is in your state, then go to your legislature and demand these archaic laws that only protect predators be squashed and laws be put into place that defend those who actually deserve it, our children.

I know that most people, because I was one of them for a long time, believe it’s not their representative standing in the way. “My” local Rep/Sen. is a good person and looks out for their constituents. If this were really true, would these laws still be on the books? I know it’s hard to hear, but the truth usually is. Most all of the current people in Congress are doing little to nothing. And the only thing that will cause them to take action is if we all let them know, either they make the changes needed or we will put in office someone who will. This is the message we must send and it’s the only one they will understand.

Please help us to make the necessary changes needed. We cannot do it without your help. And we cannot allow these sexual predators to keep getting away with murder. It’s in your hands now…what will you do?

Copyright © 2014 Together We Heal

Author: Together We Heal

In 2006 David took the first step in a long and painful journey back from the abyss of addiction and self-destruction. He promised his dying father that he would get clean. And he did. But as he cleaned his body and soul, he began to confront the sexual abuse that his addiction had for so long obscured — abuse perpetrated by a church youth minister when David was 12 to 15 years old. Those three years of abuse destroyed the foundation of love and faith that had been built by his family. For 25 years, David kept the abuse secret and lost himself in a fog of drugs and alcohol. He was by turns destitute, at times incarcerated. The promise to his dying father was the catalyst. And the bedrock of his mother’s love and devotion was the foundation on which David rebuilt his life. Therapy, 12-step meetings, and soul-deep determination were the bricks and mortar. David founded Together We Heal to provide fellow survivors and their families, guidance through the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. In 2015 he was asked to become a part of the Child Safeguarding Initiative team with GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) to empower the Christian community through education and training to recognize, prevent, and respond to child abuse. David represents Together We Heal & GRACE across the country as a public speaker and instructor; teaching churches, schools, and families how to talk with their kids about sexual abuse, how to better identify predatory behavior, and how to properly respond to those harmed. "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.” - Dr. Seuss

11 thoughts on “Getting Away With Murder”

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  1. Tim Holmes
    March 2, 2014 at 4:01 am

    Thanks David,
    The more of us that make a public stand in breaking the silence and indeed the stigma of abuse then the more people will feel able to come forward.
    I had an article published in our paper as in Australia The Royal Commission is investigating Institutional abuse.
    Early days but barriers are being broken down, turning victims into survivors.
    Thanks,
    Tim Holmes

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  2. Together We Heal
    March 2, 2014 at 4:38 am

    Thank you Tim for being a constant source of support and encouragement! I can’t thank you enough!

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  3. ruth cohen
    March 2, 2014 at 8:26 am

    shalom david from jerusalem
    well what a i am doing is being the pedophile fighter of jerusalem which means that its me,myself and i , all alone in this war.
    sigh. the situation here is so bad. sigh. the rabbinim and powerful men want the story closed down, the judge rubber stamps their requests and the cases are closed. lots of money is made by the kiddie porn industry here and you know the rest.

    nachlaot pedophile scandal burst out here 3 years ago, the biggest public scandal ever, in my street actually. a few mothes and myself got it out to the entire world at the time, each one working in her own field . since then its quietened down, the media wont touch it any more, the other mothers have burned out from the stress and strain after doing marvelous brave work .and its just me, myself and i now never ever ever giving up

    jerusalem who should bring justice to the world of darkness is so behind in this its so embarrasing to say this. every single day i go on the net and write about this and make everyone aware that the name ruth cohen and pedophiles go together and every day i ask people to get up and join this war to save the children of the world.

    still waiting for them to come knocking on my door to help me and everyone knows where we are … still waiting…in the meantime my darling loyal shmuel, my hubby, comes with me faithfully to court when the perverts drag me there and protects me from them as they are extremely dangerous.

    any ideas, pass them on.. just heard of the bikers groups who go around and protect and help abused children in the usa, canada and invited them to come please here and help me throw out the trash..sigh…

    i have a wonderful friend in australia who is taking on the catholic church priests in court and extremely brave about it and really doing a magnificent job to expose them.

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  4. Lana
    March 2, 2014 at 11:17 am

    Excellent post, Dave. One of the issues that I have worked on has been to extend the civil statutes in my home state. We put up a ballot measure to extend the civil SOL by amending the Commonwealth’s Constitution, and it was successful. There were, however, other challenges that were not so easy to overcome.

    One of the initiatives that I am currently working on is to require all law-enformcement to become “trauma-informed” because even the cases that do fall within the SOL are not getting prosecuted because of bad police work and/or prosecutors who just don’t want to deal with these cases. The attrition rates of sexual assault/abuse cases is extraordinarily high, with a mere single-digit percentage that get prosecuted. Requiring law-enforcement and prosecutors to be “trauma-informed” will likely change these statistics for current victims.

    It is easy and understandable for we adult survivors to look at the current SOLs and feel left-out and angered by our lack of justice, and our inability to legally stop those who harmed us from harming other children. That is what kept me in a constant state of hypervigilence, as my own rapist went free because he was a former cop. As you know, his case was intentionally tanked, and I was issued an apology by the current prosecutor this past year because although he confessed twice to multiple rapes, he was only charged with an convicted of a high-misdemanor. What I have learned is that there are many cases involving public figures that are also not seeing courtrooms because of intentional wrongdoing on the part of prosecutors and other law-enformcement. I am also seeking ways to stop these heartbreaking wrongdoings. The Catholic Church is a prime example of this epidemic, and how these child rapists are shielded from accountability — both within the institution and within law-enforcment.

    I have heard of case after case of contemporary children who are not receiving justice because of bad police work and bad decisions by prosecutors. While I am also focused on adult survivors, I am more focused on contemporary children and adult SA victims who are betrayed and traumatized by a system that doesn’t know what to do with them. Even within my home state, the rates of prosecution vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction because of prosecutorial discretion. We have come a long way in getting these crimes recognized and prosecuted, but we have so much further to go. And then there are the kids who are aging out of the foster care system, as I did, who have nowhere to go and nowhere to turn for help. This is not acceptable, and it needs to be changed.

    Perhaps we can find a way to work on both issues together. All of these issues are affecting victims, as even the adult survivors whose perps are still abusing children who fall within the SOLs might not be seeing justice through these kid’s cases, and these perps are free to abuse unfettered. That is unacceptable. As you so eloquently note, these perps are getting away with murder — murder of innocence and of childhoods. Only we, the adult survivors, have the power to change the system by using our voices in responsible and effectives ways. There is a cost to this work, but the cost f not doing it is even higher.

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  5. dave kohler
    March 2, 2014 at 11:21 am

    Unless one’s local Rep/Sen. has shared with the public how many terms they’ve allotted for themselves, their career politicians. Which means they’re constantly looking on how to get reelected.

    Since 1983, April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month

    https://www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/preventionmonth/history.cfm

    If you want to eliminate statute of limitation laws and create “window legislation” in your state, and no bill has yet been introduced. Call or write your rep ‘with pen and paper’.

    Some states like PENNSYLVANIA may pass RESOLUTIONS Designating the month of April 2014 as “Child Abuse Prevention Month” .

    Contact supporters of such resolutions in your state and ask them to do more, like sponsor a bill to eliminate statute of limitation laws and create “window legislation”.

    http://www.legis.state.pa.us/cfdocs/legis/PN/Public/btCheck.cfm?txtType=PDF&sessYr=2013&sessInd=0&billBody=S&billTyp=R&billNbr=0303&pn=1787

    Lawmakers have a rich history of protecting pedophiles and ‘rebuffing repeated attempts for meetings’ with past victims in Pa.

    http://www.abc27.com/story/18721344/child-sex-abuse-advocates-blast-pa-lawmaker

    Twenty six year career representative, and Majority Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, Ron Marsico (R-Dauphin, PA) displayed ‘stressful behavior’ in explaining the ‘unconstitutionality’ of a proposed Statute of Limitations reform in his State. (Rep. Marsico is wrong- it is not unconstitutional.)

    (At the 1 minute 7 seconds mark.)

    http://www.abolishsexabuse.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1764:childhood-sexual-abuse-a-statute-of-limitations-in-pa&catid=75:pa-child-victims-acts&Itemid=418

    Social Scientists believe,

    ‘When we are comfortable and contented blood flows into the hands making them warm and pliable. Stress makes our hands feel colder and more rigid….

    When you are stressed there will be more rubbing of the hands together (self massaging or “pacifying”) which will increase in frequency and force commensurate with the stress.

    When things are really stressful, you will rub your hands together with fingers stretched out and interlaced. A behavior we reserve for when things are really bad.’

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/201001/body-language-the-hands

    Latest story, representative Ron Marsico has now done a one eighty and now will allow a vote soon.

    If your politician refuses to budge;perhaps the quickest way for genuine legislature action is to take some pictures of them, create signs with their picture, show up at their job location asking them to stop protecting pedophiles.

    Most politicians abhor embarrassing and negative press.

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  7. Sue
    March 3, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    I was in therapy for years before I finally admitted to my therapist AND to MYSELF, that I had been sexually abused as a child. After all, I DID let it happen! I believe this is the mindset of most victims of sexual abuse, that, and the fact that the mind tends to repress those horrid memories, until the victim is old enough to finally see that a 4-5 year-old, cannot actually make the decision to allow things like that to happen. the. I was a nurse in Substance Abuse for years, and in doing the intensive intake interviews, the majority of the clients admitted to being sexually abused during childhood. It’s my firm believe that the major reason for alcohol/drug abuse is because victims are “self-medicating” to try to forget or overcome the shame and pain of being sexually abused. Thankfully, I never had to go down that road, but Have suffered from MAJOR depression my entire life. I could go on and on about about other people’s stories and the heartaches they have encountered. You are so right….it is murder, of a child’s soul.

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  8. TC Yaren Caliskan
    April 1, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    Thank you my dear David conscience (God’s voice) for listening. Super-ego feeds from people you’re not selfish. Thank you God for loving hearts.

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